We’ve all experienced being in love as a teenager, whether it was with a first girlfriend/boyfriend or a pop idol whose face you plastered all over your bedroom wall. It’s something akin to infatuation. An obsession. It’s something that you will put above everything else in your life. That person is the absolute top priority, and no one else understands because you are the first person in the world ever to feel this way. When love is this good, why does it stop being like this?

All the feels

Young adult fiction in recent years has become popular not only with young adults, but with adult readers as well. And they will always feature a first love story- whether between wizards, vampires, or any other mythical creature. I believe that this is one of the reasons that young adult fiction has really taken off. Young love is the first time of feeling the most powerful emotions there are. To love and to be loved in return is a crazy, heady thing. It’s exciting. It takes over everything, making days of endless summer and rainbows. Or it’s absolutely crushing if they don’t feel the same. You will never love again as no one else will ever compare to this perfect being.

Being reminded of these feelings makes people feel good. It’s good to feel all the feels. To feel strongly about someone to the point where you couldn’t feel more. When you didn’t have to think about anything else in life but that person and how you felt. Being in love is a great thing, and this is why young people do it so well. They don’t care about being selfish. They’re not bothered if other people don’t like what they’re saying or doing, they’re going to say or do it anyway.

Autumn Descends

Then you get older and the books you read and the programmes you watch change dramatically. All of a sudden it’s the world of the adult and all relationships here do not consist of sunshine. Rather a continuing autumn. There will be arguments, shouting, throwing things at each other. Problems you may need to seek help for if you’ve been affected by watching. Shit has got real. We’re shown these things as a reality check that this is how real life is.

All of a sudden you’ll find that the most important thing isn’t how a person makes you feel, but rather much more practical things. Friends will want to know their credentials. Do they own their own home? Will they want to get married in the next five years? What kind of job do they have? What kind of car do they have? How far away do they live? How well travelled are they? Everything now is about the details. But let’s not forget that the detail is where the devil is.

Some people end up with someone who, yes is lovely, but who also bores them or drives them crazy every five seconds so that a day can’t go by without a screaming row. They owned their own home, just a ten minute drive away, with a stable career, and life plan that matched yours. But is this enough? Or is it just what we’re told we’ll get, so we take it.

Real love

Lots talk today about our throw away culture on dating apps, passing people over too quickly. Missing people who they could have had a good relationship with. But I think this can only be a good thing. Why should we settle? Why should the goal be marriage and kids? I think a much better goal is finding someone you genuinely want to spend every day with. Young love isn’t just for the young, it’s forever. It’s real love. You just have to be bothered to find it, and not settle on the way.

Find that person who sets your soul on fire. It does exist. They are out there. And you deserve them. And hey, even if you don’t ever find them- you’ll have had a bloody good time on the way.