I was scrolling through my Insta feed earlier and getting increasingly annoyed. It used to be people sharing things in their life. Now it’s everyone showing how perfect they are. Their make-up and hair professional, in great lighting, in an amazing outfit, eating sushi they made themselves while the kids are playing a concerto in the background. It’s such bullshit!
We are not perfect
People are multi-faceted, they’re not a highlighter palette that goes from beige to dark brown. They’re a No 7 Christmas eye shadow palette with greens, and blues, and golds. Not all of it will suit us, some we may never want to take out of the house, but every part of us is great and perfect. You won’t always do the right thing. And that’s OK.
We have emotions and feelings, and sometimes those will affect our behaviours. But if you don’t make a mistake how will you learn that it’s bad? You will hurt people and learn that it feels awful. You’ll see the repercussions of your actions on them. You will learn that it was a wrong thing to do. You will never do that again (Or you’ll not be bothered and learn that you’re a psychopath- either way a good lesson to learn).
Good things can come from bad
We need to give ourselves a break. Not everything will be perfect. If it was, and we were always 100% righteous and good how many great things would we miss out on? How many great memories would I not have if I’d always stuck to the recommended units of alcohol?
How many parties and liaises would I have missed out on if I’d stayed in when grounded instead of calling my friend to come get me in her Polo chariot? How many people would miss out on love if they never got involved with that colleague? Good things can come from bad things and making the wrong decisions.
We need to learn to harness all that we are, rather than feel guilty every time we don’t meet the idealistic expectations of todays society. And we need to re-remember that the perfect person doesn’t exist. Valencia is a filter, not a lifestyle choice. The people you follow on social media are every bit the arsehole you are.
Every bit of you is good, that’s why it’s there
When I have PMS I can feel depressed which means I don’t achieve anything but emptying a bottle of Bailey’s and completing Schitt’s Creek for the umpteenth time. But having days like those also means that when I don’t feel like that I can appreciate small things.
I can have a lovely time reading the back of book covers in Tesco, choosing the next story I’ll inhale, whilst grooving along to the classic 80s track they’re playing in store. I may look like a nutter to some, but I’d rather be the nutter who loves going shopping than the person hating every second racing around like they’re training for Supermarket Sweep.
Yes, you can improve yourself like many of these inspirational books teach us now. You can change your habits to become a better version of yourself to achieve what you want. But you cannot stop having moods and emotions.
You must accept that you’re human, and be OK with that. Then, you can really be something.