The other day I was cooking my dinner along to Heart 90s, as one does, and I found myself singing along to Destiny’s Child “Bills, Bills, Bills”. A song from the era of Girl Power. It feels like an empowering song. An anthem for telling a guy to get lost and stop sponging off you- you don’t have to put up with that shit anymore. You go girl! But actually when you stop and think about it, this song is not about being equal. This song is a total example of double standard feminism.
It starts by complaining that he’s making her pay for things. This makes him a “scrub”. Because he shouldn’t be asking her for help with money, apparently this means he doesn’t “know what a mans about”. So this song is saying that a real man has loads of money, and should always take care of the financials of his own and his partner.
First things first, this is the type of man bashing that really gets to me, and is a contributor I’m sure to the upsettingly high number of young male suicides. This sterotype that to be a man you have to be successful, and that level of success is measured in bank balance.
Women are fighting stereotypes all the time. But I fear that whilst doing that we’re still enforcing them on to our male counterparts. It’s women who can have it all, there is no male equivalent of this saying that I know of. Men aren’t expected to be successful at work and in the home in the same way. Them being successful at work is them being successful at home, by what they provide. Women being successful at home is through the care they give, the organisation of lives. Work and home seperate for women in levels of success, which doesn’t happen for men. We need to work on this.
Double standard feminism- Pay for things
We’re fighting for equal pay, but it seems we don’t want to equally pay for things still. How many times have you seen a good looking girl say Hi to a guy at a bar just to get a free drink and walk off with it? You can earn your own money these days to buy that girl. Why is no one calling them out on this shit?
Bills, bills, bills for me is the song of these women.
He should be paying her bills, her telephone bills, her automo-bills (whatever the hell those are), and then maybe they could chill. “You’re slowly making me pay for things your money should be handling”. So if his money should be handling all your bills, what are you doing with your money? What should a woman’s money be for? Shoes? Make up? What?
If he needs help he’s a scrub, but you needing all your bills paid for is fine? Erm, no it isn’t. Go out and earn your own money to take care of your own lifestyle bitch. Don’t go about putting someone down because they still live at home to save for a mortgage, or don’t have money left at the end of the moneh the same as you don’t just because he’s a man.
To be the equal of men we need to start fighting their corner as much as our own. I know a lot of people may say they’ve had it easy without having to fight for it, but this shouldn’t mean that we step on them. We should rise up, not push them down surely?